If you are reading this, I am assuming that you know me and want to know what is happening in my life and how I am processing it all. Well, look no longer. If you don’t know me and just came across this blog, I am Alice Robbins, a young at heart woman who loves to invest in the lives of the younger generation whether it be occupationally, or vocationally. I have been transitioning from my life in the beautiful, wonderful, and most underrated country of POLAND, or as I love to call it, POLSKA! During my transitioning time, I took advantage of having a large amount of time to get everything “checked up” on the health side and through this process, discovered that God has yet another journey for me to take. This one is in the land of Cervical Cancer. I don’t want to take this journey. I never have. I have seen friends die from this ugly beast and I have seen friends live for decades (and are still alive) from this ugly beast. With all of this I have witnessed and even walked with them and have seen the pain and suffering that they have journeyed through.
With all of this, I kept praying one prayer, “Dear Lord, PLEASE do not make me suffer this way. It will be too hard and I don’t think I can do it.” Well, God has different plans and yes, I CANNOT do this . . . alone. I have asked God to teach me to trust Him more but to be gentle. What a stupid prayer! First, to ask Him to teach me to trust and second, to assume that He would keep me from suffering. Hello, Alice!
Okay, so here I am right now. I have been going through testing for two month now to find out what kind of cancer I have and I what stage and the prognosis of this all. I am at either Stage 2 or Stage 3 (if my one lymph node has cells in it). I am starting chemo on Monday and then Radiation on Wednesday. I will be doing this for 6 weeks and then the plan is to go and have surgery and have a full-blown “Going out of business, everything must go!” hysterectomy.
Why not surgery and get everything out now? The tumor that I have grows very quickly and they want to get to the lymph node taken care of asap incase it does have cancer cells in it. If it does, the treatments will take care of them and have a very good chance of sniping those cells and any others that may want to get to other lymph nodes. As of 3 weeks ago, my one lymph node was enlarged a bit, but no cancer, but the doctors that I have know what they are doing and have a plan. My radiology oncologist told me that his goal was to “Have me die by something else.” NOT by cancer. So, I plan to life up to his expectations!
As I am writing all of this, I think of my friends who have battled this same monster and how God was with them and how He lead them all to healing either here on earth or in heaven and I keep coming back to the verse in 2 Corinthians 12:9 which says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. It is he first verse that came to my mind just after the OB/GYN doctor told me that my abnormal pap showed that I had cancer.
So, today is my birthday and I have enjoyed the 49 years that God has so graciously given me. I have seen how God has stepped before me in Poland with all of the travel and culture adventures I had and even how He opened door after door for me when I broke my leg in 2011. After experiencing His grace, strength and comfort there, how can I NOT expect and hope for the same here in another chance for me to learn a deeper faith and trust in He who has created me and wants what is best for me. Sometimes, that “best” does not look the way I want it, but that is when the trust and faith comes in.
So, come on, and join me on this battle journey!